N930BN – BRINGING IN THE WARSHIPS 

We always looked forward to having lessons with Mr. Andy, my secondary school Geography teacher, who handled the subject in my alma mater from SS1 through SS3, and coincidently doubles as our form master, because after such lessons he closes his lesson note in such a usual fashion which kicks off a lengthy session of eccentric gist on a number of varied topics, any of which came to his mind. This was his own way of bonding with his class, and everybody looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays. Under his moderation we discussed on a lot of subjects, which border on politics, ladies (as it is an all boys school), the principal, careers, and a host of other mouth watering topics. Not until the President was presenting the budget early this year, did I flashback on one of those topics we discussed with Mr. Andy. I took mental of note of this, and actually sat to write this piece when the Ministry of Defence was defending their budget recently. Flashing back to those days I must confess that those discussions we had with Mr. Andy stuck better than the metamorphic and igneous rocks he taught us then. On this particular day he closed his Goh Cheng Leong text book in the usual fashion, of clapping both halves hard against each other; then asked us which country was the world’s superpower? Without much thought to it we all chorused United States of America, which prompted another question in quick fashion, why do you think she’s a superpower? Now that got us thinking. It was quite a sometime before someone ruptured the silence from the back of the class, stating she’s considered one because they have the most organized and formidable armed forces, with a very large stockpile of weapons, which included nuclear warheads and can bring nations to its knees if threatened. Another smart chap, had a more sophisticated answer, he dazzled even the teacher when he stated that they are considered a world power because they have a very strong economy, that’s why their currency is acknowledged globally. And cleverly concealed repetition of chorus answers kept pouring in. Yours truly couldn’t say anything, not because I don’t have an unintelligent answer to give, or the ‘answer’ I had in my mind had been voiced by another, no, far from that, I had never given this topic a shrewd thought before now. And as hard as I tried to piece one and one together, I just couldn’t get a way around the subject, because growing up I had always thought that world powers attain that status by sheer number of their armies and the ability to invade nations, bringing governments to a halt by just a fraction of its force. This belief was fueled by literature I had read on the Persian and Roman empires, but was quenched when the Soviet Union collapsed and this whiz kid was giving it a new twist by dragging economy into the already complicated matter. Being a meticulous thinker, thinking more than twice before speaking, as my dad always preached to us, I chose at that moment not to say a word.

I went back to the hostel with the weight still on my mind, pulled out my hefty Longman dictionary of contemporary English and searched up the word superpower. It is still etched on my memory, it stated simply ‘a state of supreme power and influence especially the US and formerly, the USSR.’ Well I wouldn’t say I got what I was looking for, as it did not address the latent curiosity, and the vagueness of the definition still made me yearn for a more specific answer. However, this definition kept reverberating in my frontal lobe over the years, and I continued piecing the fragments together. Now, I can roughly say supreme power equals military strength, while influence equals economic relevance and domination. I know these political scientists would be screaming for my head, they wouldn’t find it, because whatever definition they seem to proffer, I have already found mine and nothing more will enter this thick skull, which is already occupied with thoughts on how I can benefit from Jonathan’s whooping N970 billion set aside for defence alone, so they should hold their peace, period.

Today we know that the military strength, with regards to arsenal size, nuclear stockpile, fighter jets and warships are just a few of the ingredients to make any nations’ military soup hot, which makes it feared among comity of nations. That’s why most countries do not fail to parade their military strength during any national day celebrations, though Isa my political versed laundry man would say, this is just a fraction of what they possess. Do I believe him, yes I do. You don’t bring out all your laundry to dry in the open, do you? Well, with the budget already presented and defended, I see Nigeria towing the American way, though I till grumble why it is N70 billion short of a trillion, as this might eat into my projected earnings, all the same I will still try to work with what is left of the fund, hoping the ‘mites’ wouldn’t filch more than necessary. The defence budget accounts for over 20% of the national budget, and I don’t see anything wrong with it, especially now that I intend to become a defence contractor or supplier, whichever one I can wriggle my way into, but my grudge with the budget is the reason behind the slicing of such a large piece of the cake to defence. It takes no soothsayer to tell one that this Al-Qaeda styled Islam extremists in the north are hugely responsible for Jonathan camp to cut out such a budget. So unlike the American defence budget which is targeted at strengthening their external frontiers, ours is aimed to quench internally generated grievances, which has been predicted by various quarters to likely cause an implosion. But as Gen. Ihejireka would say, threats whether internal or external requires the same attention.

While Ruquayatt, Adesina,and Nebo are mapping out ways to utilize their funds for their ministries,  which I strongly feel are the areas where we are supposed to channel our energy to, in order to leap out of this doldrums we find ourselves in, as without having to think like an astrophysicist, education gives people ‘power’, and such powers when put into industries powered by the truncated Nnajis’ power, we would all be a long way away from poverty land. But am not an economic strategist to really know the nitty-gritty of the whole process so I would leave our Amazon lady and our bow tie Dan Majen to strategize upon, that’s if they can get right this time around and not let over ten billion dollars of our money float into thin air. Although, considering my new found interest in defence I care less, as my primary concern now is to find how much it costs to get one of those warships the US parades. And don’t think it’s one of those refurbished patrol vessels the Nigerian Navy brought in recently, and were making one hell of a show of it. No, I am referring to the category of the Theodore Roosevelt aircraft carriers, with lengths of over 332m (about 1090ft), 2 pressurized water reactors, 4 sets geared turbines, 4props, 280000shp, speed of 30knots and an approximately 3410 crew capacity in addition to a 2890 flight crew. The carrier displaces over 73000 – 96000 tons of water and has an armament store that can launch up to 30 sea Sparrow missile launchers, with a whole lot of other accessories. It’s rumored that the size alone deters an enemy with presence and passive coercion. Only navy personnel who know their onions would know what I am talking about.  With reference to the capacity, it’s capable of carrying all men of our naval fleet including Admiral Sa’ad himself. I believe you all know now I am very serious with this venture and already putting my thoughts to action, though I have to first register my company with the corporate affairs commission in whatever guise I can think of, knowing very well that it doesn’t matter what the article of association reads on the type of business I intend to carry out. Much thanks to Hon. Farouk Lawan for that insight, as he showed that no matter what is stated as the nature of your business you can still be able to lift oil with the full support of the government, as we all saw in the case of a registered foreign sanitation company that ended up benefitting from the fuel subsidy fund. I will then write my proposal and draw up my quotations to be submitted to the federal executive council through the Minister of Defence, boycotting the unconstitutionally formed Bureau of Public Procurement (BPP); they should go and get themselves legalized, if they do so we might cross paths at the National Assembly where I would be lobbying the Senate to help me convince the presidency see reasons why we need such a warship, even if I would sell the idea that the ship is capable of ripping through the dunes of Maiduguri to fish out these Boko Haram group that has given us sleepless nights. Whatever it takes I must get Nigeria one of these monsters of the sea, because with N970billion I can’t imagine us not having one docked at the port. I am certain that we are not delving into the nuclear market; the US would make sure of that, which is why I wondered what Jonathan was doing at the nuclear summit in Korea in April, when he told us in January he would cut all unnecessary travels to reduce government spending. Being sure that the US will never agree to us possessing nuclear in whatever form, however, I am sure they would be willing to sell-off one of their used warships to us, and I don’t think anyone would raise any objection in purchasing a ‘tokunbo’ one. If OBJ could buy a tokunbo plane to serve as our presidential jet, I don’t see Ola Sa’ad insisting that this toy must be new.