CHOO!! CHOO!!! --- AND THE TRAIN GOES

It’s now stale news that Kabiru Sokoto, the N50 million naira fugitive is now cooling his heels in one of the many detention facilities of the state security services scattered across the country. It still baffles me when I remember, and I believe many have also wondered how the alleged mastermind of the Christmas day bomb blast at Madalla, managed to carpet across four states to get to Taraba state, despite the heavy military and police checkpoint(some would say toll gates) positioned at every mile. I am still astonished at how his hosts in the village he was found watered down their greed, despite the fifty million naira reward for his head. For half of that sum I wouldn’t mind giving out the Achilles heels of Hon. Farouk Lawan to the oil cartels, so that they can have something more concrete to discredit his report. For even less that sum I wouldn’t mind serving the remaining parts of Oteh’s head to the newly constituted ad-hoc committee on Capital Market, so that they would see that Okerekes’ alleged misappropriations was just a fling. Please, don’t condemn me yet, for I know as many as 98% of the eyes scrounging over this article have or would go the Judas way. It’s in borne we don’t have to deny that, but that’s not what I have in mind to discuss here.

I must begin by apologizing that I really don’t know a great deal of the issues am about to raise here, but am a strong advocate of “common sense,” so it’s on this platform I make my deductions. And I must also confess that I go through only four to five newspapers every morning, occasioned with browsing the net to draw up conclusions of events taking place or which have taken place within this project called Nigeria. I would have liked to peruse through more of the papers and magazines that the vendors entice me, but having a meager take home package, I pick up ones with “colorful” and captivating captions. Unlike Dr. Abati who has a war-chest from which he could buy up media houses, but still find it difficult to realign his views, his principals’ thoughts and the temperament of the nation in his “reply” notes. Though it’s no easy task, I still believe he can do a better job, yet it still stumps me when I see the way he and his doctoral boss have been handling issues with the media since we began this current experimentation with democracy, which confirms my conjured hypothesis that Nigeria and Nigerians are beyond “shockability.”

In less than a year we have been privileged to watch, witness, and play an active role in different scene of cataclysmic events which would have brought other nations to a grinding halt. It first began with Jonathan refusal to honor a gentleman’s agreement within the PDP, of which he was a signatory to, this saw Adamu Ciroma carving out a niche, and canvassed seriously in shopping for a northern presidential candidate. The party neither, called him to order nor expelled him from the party for anti-party activities. Ciroma, himself didn’t expel his wife for anti-family activity also, for pitching tent with the pro-Jonathan camp. Nigerians were entertained, while some made money off it, others lost. Though at the end we all must agree it was one hell of a show. This ushered in the election proper, of which Jonathan was declared winner, leading to riots in most parts of the north, angered why their candidate Buhari was not selected, sorry elected. Lives and property were lost, and victims have since licked up their wounds and moved on. Nobody has instituted any class action against that ever since. Those that were not (s)elected have long sheath their tongues and those who couldn’t, had theirs zipped up by our “indefatigable” judiciary. Some ignorant ones, who didn’t get the gist, are still appealing. No sooner have we battle our eyelids, the Boko Haram rose from their incubation shells and began lighting the whole north with acrid fireworks. We thought they had reached their climax with the Christmas day bombing at Madalla, and would cool off, but they just got started. Their attacks grew by the day, with their methods becoming more sophisticated. The police have been overwhelmed, as their stations now serve as testing grounds for new forms of IED’s. Their strategy has also developed, as they now lean towards a guerilla styled attack. They first detonated their explosives in and/or around the stations, throwing the whole area into confusion, and in the midst of the hysteria they open fire with AK 47’s, maiming and killing both uniformed men and civilians. After running out of ammunitions these savages mount their bikes or cars and stroll off the area, and nothing is heard of them till their next attack. In a bogus attempt to show the public that they are still in control, security forces treat us with news of raids on suspected hideouts the next day, so that we have a renewed belief that the security forces might win this war. Though a few of us now know better. Various quarters have called for dialogue with these extremists, while some are proposing that we take the Odi pattern. Majority of others are just clueless. That’s why when Steve Nwosu, called for solutions to the problem, in his Wednesday column, Frank Talk, nobody has offered any up till now, even when he promised it would get published. And trust the media they would with pleasure print photos of a disheveled Jonathan to further knock out our already wobbled knees. The presidency compounds our problem further by repeating the same statement on each occasion, which prompted a columnist to presume that the president’s aides have a template of the speeches, where they just change the location and casualty figure when an attack happens. Simply a case of copy, pastes, and modify. The only new development, I thought I had read in this regard is the recent cry of help by the president to the United States government to assist our forces to halt these mindless attacks, of which the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, is currently denying through weaved and well articulated speeches.

The National Assembly has maintained a semi dumb posture on the issue and is playing a secondary role in this matter, by joining the president to condemn the attacks, but hasn’t played any active role in seeking for strategies to curb the menace. They, in their judgment felt that we are not been entertained enough, and doled out series of probes, of which some are still ongoing. Beginning with the Farouk Lawan ad-hoc committee on fuel subsidy after the new year strike and protests, baffling revelations were made, on how government officials in conjunction with oil marketers (most of them members of the organized private sector-OPS) stifled over two trillion naira from our treasury. The probe also revealed that the government does not have an idea on what was spent as subsidy, as PPPRA, CBN, NNPC and the Ministry of Finance all gave conflicting figures on how much was paid out. It further revealed that these bodies handling our collective oil wealth have no idea on how much crude we mine, and oblivious of how much money we make on crude oil sales. The report has since been submitted and recommendations made to the house, some of which was adopted by the House and some adapted, though it took threats by various bodies for the presidency to acknowledge receipt of the report, and a further ‘blackmail’ by the House for the presidency to forward same to the judiciary asking the AGF to act on it. Well, the judiciary has agreed they have the report, and beckoned the EFCC to start investigations into the allegations, and prosecute the firms or individuals indicted. We are all waiting to see evidence they would further gather. My only fear is that they wouldn’t bury this probe in their bureaucratic mishmash. Some zealots have already prophesied that it would die a natural death, claiming that the PDP and Jonathan can’t hang themselves, as they aver that the purported subsidy pillage went into funding his 2011 campaign activities. Only time and Lamorde will tell.

We were still trying to get a hang of this debacle, when out of the blue Oteh and Hembe put a twist on an earlier perceived uninteresting probe on the near collapse of the stock exchange. Washing their undergarments in full view of the public, the duo traded accusations at each other, all bordered on misuse of funds, alleged bribery and abuse of office, far from the objectives of the committee, which was to investigate the crash in prices of shares at the stock exchange, which sent many people early to their graves, while others, who were fortunate enough still suffer from the after effects of the shock. We all forgot about the objective as we all relish the soup Hembe and Oteh was dishing out. The latter then felt that the controversy was losing steam when she got rid of Hembe, and recruited Okereke to join the cast. With their accusations and counter accusations I now have an idea on how much a Rolex wrist watch is worth. Not that am planning to buy one, I am fully contented with my rubber strap swatch, which gives me time, whether accurate or not, as Okereke’s ten thousand dollar Rolex. The probe panel is still yet to submit its report so let us not jump into any conclusion at the moment. However, my grudge is that while Hembe is standing trial for pocketing estacodes to the tune six hundred thousand naira, and the EFCC are making one huge scene out of it, dragging to court with a battery of armed personnel, like he’s some kind of Liberian war lord, Oteh is busy showing off at one event or the other, which has just been cut short, following the SEC board’s decision to send her on compulsory leave (Ringim now has an associate). We have quickly forgotten the allegations Hembe threw at her, as nobody is querying the huge hotel bills, or the sumptuous meal she had in just a day. The secondment of staff from her previous organization, which she’s suppose to regulate, have all gradually been swept under the rug. We await EFCC’s script on this, which I believe will be bordered on nobody has submitted a petition against our first class lioness.

As we were been treated to the play, an actor not wanting to be left backstage, while the comedy of errors was been staged, took center stage and confirmed what many of us had speculated for long. A fine gentleman officer, who rose through the ranks like a sacred cat, to sit at the helm of our security apparatus, jolted us from our seats, when he bluntly told us that the ruling party was the main cause of the insecurity bedeviling the country. He wasn’t coerced, tricked nor led into making such remark, he actually did it out of his own volition, probably in an apparent bid to outshine Professor Wole Soyinka, who, prior to this outburst, was dazzling the audience of the South-South Economic Summit with his refined queen’s English. Trust the Niger delta man, “dem no dey carry last, bad as e bad dem go draw.” And quite amazingly he stole the show, as the only thing anyone took from the summit was his revealing speech. However, this was also short-lived and you wonder where all the fire spitting gladiators who were calling for Azazi’s head went to. Jonathan in his usual form demanded for the script to judiciously analyze the security boss statement, but trust the lecturer he is, he has been foot dragging the issue like his students’ thesis. Although, I think it was the Boko Haram strike on Thisday and Daily Sun newspaper offices that engulfed the Azazi’s scene. My condolences to them all, although, I must commend the resilience of these media houses and the way they have pressed on bringing information to Nigerians, who respond to it spontaneously. But it’s very disappointing the way we maintain the tempo on issues raised by the press. Our desire to pursue and gorge on new stories has blinded our senses to the true objectives of the fourth realm. We have forgotten our core duty of fueling the fire in the hearts of the citizenry, which would push them in seeking for fairness, justice and equality on issues which affects us all. A friend of mine once likened news reporting in Nigeria to the way Nollywood churns out movies. All bark, but no bite, amplifying that reporters put on their searchlights to get new stories, but have failed to drum home, repeatedly, the lessons we have to learn from such stories. To this I agreed with him, since we have all deviated from the mission and vision on which the free press has stood for centuries, though it’s not too late for us all to return to the basics of being the tool through which we sculpt people minds for the development of our nation.

National development is a collective task by both foreign and local citizens, which can be achieved not only by actions, but also by well chosen words. That’s why I listen religiously and meditate on words whenever “accomplished” minds speak, especially if they are Generals. By their training they have learnt not to speak unless it is absolutely necessary, or when they intend to convey a message or command. So when three of our most decorated and respected Generals spoke, I regurgitated theirs words and chewed on them devotedly. It started with Gen. Buhari, who called for a free, fair and transparent election, unless “za yi kare jini, biri jini.” Most media houses and by extension Nigerians, including my humble self, translated that to mean “bloody,” but the Daura General has come out to debunk our rendition, pointing out that he not only spoke in Hausa but that the statement was supposed to be a proverb, and not a direct assertion, which we all took it to be.  He assisted us further to translate it to mean…….”each side had struggled to win,” his own words not mine. So my deduction from this is……….come 2015, election should be free and free so that each side should struggle to win. That’s my inference; you are free to make yours, if those egoistical Hausa linguist, who should have clarified this for us, are still bent on not helping out. While this was still brewing, Gen. Theophilus Danjuma hinted that we might experience the Somalization of Nigeria if care is not taken to arrest the activities of these insurgents. We all took it with little salt, and moved on, but when you take a critical look into his warnings and the state of the nation it seems our ship is already sailing towards his foresight. The division has already been created, some tilting towards suggesting a commando like approach to flush out these extremists, others sympathizers of mainly northern extraction are calling for dialogue. Some factions of CAN are already calling for reprisal attacks (If I may ask, on whom should this act of vengeance should be targeted on? Peaceful northerners who chose to live in the south), others are clueless on how to go about the whole issue. The security chiefs who should have proposed an efficient way forward are in a quandary on what to do. I don’t blame them, terrorism has never been in the African strain before now, so I guess they skipped that class in military school. But they shouldn’t stand there and mop around; they should heed the General’s call and enroll for a distance learning course and stir us out from these troubled waters. As the saying goes, it’s never too late to learn, because I know none of them have any experience with regards to terrorism, and it seems we are stuck with them as captains of our warships.

Although, our comical General learnt some of his lessons very late, so when he lashed out on our red and green chambers occupants I couldn’t conceal my amusement. As blunt as he has always been, he called our esteemed parliamentarians armed robbers. I laughed because, when we were all screaming blue murder, it was the same Obasanjo that approved the jumbo pay and allowances for the National Assembly. Or was he blindfolded when he signed the bill, or hypnotized when he courted and bribed them for his third term bid. OBJ hasn’t failed to amuse us anytime he takes the stage, though I think the senate and house are comfortable with the new title, that’s why a whole lot of them scurried back to their shells, after asking him to point the culprits, and trust baba he will not hesitate. So next time you intend to address our men in the red and green chambers don’t fail to append the acronym ARFR to his name, Armed Robber of the Federal Republic. Although, if anything happen to you please send me your account details so that I can contribute my widows mite to offset your medical bill. If you not that lucky, then I say an anticipatory adieu in advance.

With the OBJ and legislators rift rocking our boat, I thought the entertainment would last long, but Dana picked this moment to turn the comedy into tragedy. The whole nation was thrown into mourning when one of its carriers plunged into a suburb in Lagos, taking with it the dreams, aspirations and hopes of 153 persons on board, and countless others on ground. I doubt if we would ever know the precise casualty figure the airline took with it. It wiped out a complete family, took away notably personalities and in the midst of this our trademark reared its ugly head, controversy. Yes it never fails to elude us. Immediately the carrier crashed a maintenance officer naively told us that he had warned the Dana management against the use of the aircraft, as he detected multiple technical faults which needed repairs, but they still went on to book flights on that death box with wings. If it were in a country where laws are followed that officer should be in jail by now. Aviation rules and regulations are the same everywhere in the world, so if an officer rescinds his duty to fate without reporting his fears or findings to a higher authority if he feels he is not been heard,  then such individual shares in the blame if anything goes wrong. But in Nigeria everything goes, and that officer thinks he is actually helping us to reveal that it’s all Dana’s fault. Another ironical story making the round was that the aircraft was 2 years older than the stipulated maximum age of 20, ironic in the sense that we have airplanes that over 30 years still plying the Nigerian airways, just because they haven’t crashed yet, many of us still believe they are air worthy, and the NCAA know about this, so it’s not only Dana that cut corners, that why the silver tongue of Harold Demuren has since turned lead, as the crash has opened the can of worms he has been hiding with his oratory skills. Another mischievous story, purposely fashioned to rein in the first family in this quagmire, reeled out in some social media. It drew condemnation, when the authors stated that the airline would have touched down earlier before the crash, but was prevented from doing so because the first lady’s jet was scheduled to land at the same time, prompting the already failed engines to pull the aircraft down. I took that with a pinch of salt and suggest you do too, for these anti-Jonathan crusaders wouldn’t mind feeding us with ‘eko’ and beans daily.

The reservation I am having on this issue is the way the authorities are going about it. Our amiable princess has told us that the report of the crash would be out in 2013, you might ask why that long? If Ghanaian authorities, who experienced a similar crash a day before the ill-fated Dana flight has released a report within just 48 hours after the event, stating that it was because of the unevenness and the undulating nature of the runway that caused the crash, as against a previously held belief that the heavy rains which had felled prior to its landing was the cause of the crash, why are the aviation authorities in Nigeria foot dragging. Do they intend to write a script for a screen play of the crash, which should justify the one year duration? Or are they counting on the time lapse for us to forget the crash report, as we did that of ADC Lagos crash of 1996, the 2002 EAS Kano crash, and the 2006 ADC Abuja crash. May I use this medium to offer my deep condolences to the families of the crashed victims, may God give them the fortitude to bear the loss.

A majority of the populace have since lost hope on government agencies to bring succor to the average Nigerian, and have reinstated  their hope on God to lead us out of these predicaments, but the situations have not only been insurmountable but multiplying. Since the crash many negative stories have emerged, notably the Jos and Biu bomb blasts on June 10,2012, the attack by gunmen on students of FGC Kano, the Farouk Lawan and Otedola’s faceoff, Oteh’s compulsory leave, which will generate more headlines and a host of others already making headlines on our national dailies, while the pension scam probe has taken a detour which I can’t seem to place. However, all these stories don’t move us again as we have developed a pachyderm layer of skin over our hearts so nothing stops us from losing sleep. And similar like the locomotive trains on our tracks the country still moves on, caring not if you are on board or not. It’s no news we do not seem to have a functional leadership that carries us all along; we must therefore strive to become a constructive functional followership. We owe our past heroes that much.