Wednesday, 5 June 2013

IF IT’S NOT BUHARI, IT CAN NEVER BE LIKE BUHARI



If no be Panadol, e no go fit be like Panadol.” Do you remember that popular advertisement cliché? I bet you do. I had never used the phrase before, nor burrowed deep enough to uncover its philosophical underlining’s until yesterday when I busied myself watching two political enthusiasts, who had obviously read Mr. Femi Adesina Friday column of The Sun newspaper titled; It is not just about Amaechi. After a heated debate between the two it metamorphosed into a Buhari and APC agenda, and the two men made an effort to dissect the probable presidential candidate the APC might throw up in the 2015 elections. The two reached a compromise that no matter how the political tide rages before 2015, there is no how the newly formed APC would spit anyone as popular as Buhari. But with this compromise came the disagreement.

The bulky man shot first. Yes it’s true Buhari has been the only one who has demonstrated the ability of stamping out corruption from Nigeria, and has the zeal to still continue the War Against Indiscipline and Corruption which was hacked in 1985, but his is a religious bigot, old and seethes for revenge against people who he believed ousted him from power.

Responding with agility the second man answered. He has since denied the statement on which the opposition has capitalized on to hang the albatross of religious bigotry on his neck, and has challenged anyone without a vague evidence to proof the contrary. Until now I believe it’s just hearsay. And since when has growing old become a crime. Is Raul Castro not in his eighties? Do you hear any noise coming from Cuba? Jorge Bergoglio, the present Pope Francis is 76 years old and was elected pope to shepherd over 1.2 billion Catholics. Mugabe is 89 years old in Zimbabwe, and he is still trying to slink his way into another term, but his policies rather than his age is what is being called to question. Mandiba, the African orb, was 76 years old, a clear six years above Buhari’s present age, when he was elected president of South Africa. John McCain was 71 when he challenged Obama in 2008, apart from comedians who joke about his age, did any right thinking American used age as a yardstick for screening him. No. Mario Monti was 68 when Italy begged him to rescue them from imminent financial collapse, although he has left the job, the 76 year old Berlusconi is scheming his way back into Monti’s chair. Back home the ruling party, in their usual endorsement opted for 77 year old Tukur and 79 year old Anenih to lead their party. So what’s all this fuss about age?

I thought he was done but not yet. He fired from all pistons. You talked about revenge. I agree the good book says, revenge is for the Lord, but don’t you as a patriot, want to take more than a pound of flesh  from those people who have continually bleed the nation and lavish it in our faces, spitefully. Or do you think when China put a bullet in the heads of corrupt rulers; it was all just for personal aggrandizement? It’s sad to say, but not only Buhari should be the one seething for revenge, but us all.

I hear you. Said the bulky fellow, who had been mopping all this while. But it’s obvious Nigerians, especially from the southern axis just don’t like Buhari’s face, like the PDP loath Amaechi’s knocked knees. If you were Buhari, considering all these accusations, whether true or false, who would you then anoint as your preferred candidate.

Without battling his eyelids, the fiery one shot back. Me!!! I can’t vouch for anyone other than myself if I were Buhari, as I have not seen any politician as “unstained” as myself. I believe you would have expected me to choose from the wide variety of people who are gradually sinking their tentacles into the Buhari camp. People like Ribadu, El-rufai, Tunde Bakare or better still independent candidates like Pat Utomi and Rochas, but I don’t share in this hype, because the names mentioned have never being tested with “absolute power.” Those who have come close within its corridors have either being labeled henchmen, who act on the initiative of others. Or some have out rightly acknowledged, they were in its halls by accident. And believe me when I say we are still actually piling debris as a result of policies, that lone person accidentally set in motion. The rest I would say have never truly been “tested,” while some few are undergoing a trial period. So I expect Buhari to only anoint himself; no other. For the simple reason that; Nigeria today needs someone who has been “tested” and “certified.” This is not a period to “hope” for a right candidate, because it’s this same hope that has put us in this sorry state we are in now, where people who we hoped were think tanks, just proved they are doctors, who tests variables, hypothesize, and retest same variables like Nigeria is some kind of sample study.

The two kept shut for what seemed like thirty seconds, before I went over and stoked the fire with a poser. Now, apart from the “unconfirmed” accusations of religious bigotry and revenge, drag along with the concept of age, why don’t you like Buhari’s face? Or you prefer try different drugs for your thumping headache, other than Panadol, because you hate the colour of the sachet, even though it has been clinically proven and commercially accepted by all, as the cure to headaches? Just Asking.

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