WE ALL NEED AN INBUILT FACTORY DEFAULT SETTINGS

I was away to China for a program in mid-May and was cut off from Facebook and Twitter for the duration I was there. On getting back, I plugged my modem to my laptop to catch up on things I have “missed” (I prefer using the laptop whenever I have a backlog of mails, twits, and update status to sift through, because switching between the different platforms have always seemed easier on it). I had gone through a lot, but still had more to go through when my wireless connection to the internet suddenly stopped working. As expected I was frustrated, but I quickly took it as a blessing. I had a report to write for an online course I was doing at that moment, so the social aspect of my life was a distraction. I resisted the temptation to distract myself further by trying to fix it and got to work. I finished the report in record time. That’s a lesson in itself. But it’s not the whole story.

Once I was done with the report, I needed to send it to my facilitator for accreditation. What was previously a distraction — fixing my internet connection — was now essential. So I put all my deep technological know-how to work: I scream at it. No change. So I screamed at it some more. When that didn’t work, I closed all the applications, unplugged the modem and rebooted the laptop. It still didn’t work. So I click opened the control panel on the system and dabbled with some of the internet settings. Still nothing. I just sat there silently angry, staring at my computer equipment, ready to admit defeat and was already thinking of how to get it to a repairman. But then I remembered the solution that had worked for me before, when all else failed. I removed the power pack from the laptop and yanked away its battery while it was still running and waited two minutes. While everything was unplugged, I had nothing to do, so I just sat there.

It’s strange, because two minutes is so little, but when the time was up, I felt noticeably different. I wasn’t angry or upset or irritated. I wasn’t on the verge — as I was before — of kicking the electronic if this solution didn’t work. I felt oddly refreshed. My situation hadn’t changed, but my perspective had. It turns out that when I unplugged my equipment, I unplugged myself at the same time. And when those short, barely noticeable minutes had passed, I felt different. Renewed. Ready to speak tenderly and quietly to my internet modem instead of screaming at it. Maybe even joke around with it a bit to lighten up the tension. Which got me thinking: This unplug and stop everything for a minute strategy might be a pretty good solution for whenever things aren’t working in life, business, work, or the even the whole nation.

That point was reinforced for me in a recent cell phone call I had with Andrew, my account officer, while I was away. I had an issue with my debit MasterCard while in China and we were having a difficult conversation and each of us had the feeling that the other one wasn’t listening. Then the call was dropped. I tried calling back but only got the usual; “the number you’re trying to call is not reachable at the moment, please try again later.” So I sat there for a minute, obviously in a red rage. Unplugged. When I eventually connected again, the tone of the conversation changed radically. He also has been trying to reach me, but a lady with a Chinese accent was giving his ears an irritation and a good laugh. We were calmer with each other. More attentive. Better at listening and rephrasing what we heard the other one saying. I never thought I’d say this but, for once, I was happy that the mobile network is erratic. It gave us both a minute to breathe and get some perspective. Unplugging and waiting for a minute is an unexpected strategy because it appears passive. You aren’t actively developing new strategies, arguments, or viewpoints. In fact, you aren’t actively doing anything.

When you unplug and wait for a minute, you restore yourself to your factory default settings, which for
most of us tends to be generous, open-hearted, creative, connected, and hopeful. That makes us more
likely to be effective when we plug back in. In a meeting that’s going nowhere? Take a break. Making no headway on that proposal you need to write? Stand up and take a walk. Fighting with your spouse or lover or kids or boss or subordinates or colleagues? Give yourself a time-out. Unplug for a minute and breathe. This is not a strategy that requires practice and skill building. All it requires is remembering to do it. Sometimes, life requires dynamic, determined engagement. But sometimes, the smartest move is disengagement. That magic minute of not doing anything has the power to change just about everything. This is what happened with my great and wise teacher, my wireless modem. Marvel of miracles, when I plugged it back in after that two minutes of waiting, my wireless internet starting working again. And so did I.

Now, in as much as I want to see the Obasanjo fiasco solved or the 2014 budget passed, or the Anambra election debacle solved, or the rift within the PDP come to a head, or the corruption ravaging the land melt-away, or the security situation in the North East fizzle-out or the speedy prosecution of the alleged fuel subsidy thieves and pension scammers, I don’t want to join the bandwagon of those calling for a speedy approach in solving these issues. After all it didn’t start as sudden as we want it to end, it was built up over time, and it’s over time we would fix all these, irrespective of their current state. So as the New Year heralds restore your settings to factory default and have a wonderful 2014. 

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